in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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