So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
