I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
