She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
