Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
