I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
