he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
