You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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