bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Boobs are out for the taking
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Randomize
