I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
