He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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