It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
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