well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
