no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I supernannyed him into submission
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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