she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
