he shaved USA in his pubs
accomplished twins. life is a go
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
We are all done wearing pants today
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