i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
