what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
