I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
