You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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