what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
