Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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