Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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