Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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