Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
