Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
