He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
