Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
