Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
