Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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