somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
