If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
