He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
