last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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