the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
