stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
