just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
