i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
