My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
