Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Semen is not good for contacts.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
