I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
