This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
