I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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