I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
