You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
So vagazzling was a success
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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