I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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