I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
His nipple licking is glorious
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