Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
