you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
