Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
